60 Days Left!!

I called our venue today to check when the final amount of payment was due and he said:

"Sixty days before your wedding date...Oh, I guess that's today."

Holy Crap.

While I have gotten all of the major stuff booked, there is still a LOT left.  Instead of shrinking, my to-do list has been growing.  List items have been reproducing like bunnies.  Though at this point, I think that I may prefer the 50 bunnies instead...They're so soft...

My mom and I have done a lot of DIY shit for this wedding including: 

• my dress and veil (not done yet) 
• the bridesmaids' gifts, headpieces and sashes
• all the favors
• the flower girl basket & ring bearer pillow 
• the invitations! (all of them)

And yet, suicidally, we still have plans to make more stuff including tags for the favors, place cards for those getting a reserved seat, and a few centerpiece items. Also, I decided that I hated all of the flower girl dresses I saw online.  They were either too froofy, or poofy, or stripperish or white.  If you check out my Pinterest board you will see how many styles I thought about. In the end, my mom committed to making that too (as well as a dress for her doll).  This is the style I picked but in a plum color with a green sash and flower.

And also, we have to make more bubble solution.  See, we thought we were being all thrifty by buying them for 70% off but it seems that 2/3 of the tubes are dried out and sticky and the other 1/3 are not 100% full.  But, that's not a big deal b/c the cost of the bubbles has always been the tubes anyway seeing how bubble solution is, like, soap and water.  Here's a page full o' 3-ingredient recipes.  I would call this page Bubbleopolis.   In addition to that, we have to do this to all the bubbles: 

I don't know why this picture is sideways.  The one I uploaded was straight, I tell ya! (that's what she said.)

 and the list goes on...

I would like to talk more about my thoughts and the progress of my wedding, but honestly all I can say is that it's exhausting and expensive and overwhelming.  The Knot isn't really helping with planning things...what I need is someone like Tony Stark's Jarvis (that's going to paint me as a huge nerd).  As you can see from my 1 post a month, blogging about your wedding planning is actually kind of impossible to do DURING the wedding planning.  It's not that I don't have anything to talk about but that I just don't have time to blog and when I do have time (like now) I have so much to write about that nothing really flows easily.  And also, posts take a long time to write and probably no one cares enough to get through them.

So in the interest in brevity I'll just say "holy crap I'm stressed out!" And hope that I post more than once a month.

P.S. Don't watch What Boys Like.  Terrible, vulgar, man-humor involving bloody road kill, nipple piercings, unrealistic skin stretching, raunchy strippers, death by sex and accidental bestiality. 

♥

Les Fleurs du Mal

Purple/white Cala Lily

To the Reader

Folly, depravity, greed, mortal sin

Invade our souls and rack our flesh; we feed

Our gentle guilt, gracious regrets, that breed

Like vermin glutting on foul beggars' skin.

Our sins are stubborn; our repentance, faint.

We take a handsome price for our confession,

Happy once more to wallow in transgression,

Thinking vile tears will cleanse us of all taint.

On evil's cushion poised, His Majesty,

Satan Thrice-Great, lulls our charmed soul, until

He turns to vapor what was once our will:

Rich ore, transmuted by his alchemy.

- Charles Baudelaire

Kermit Daisies (no joke...that's their name!)

Above is an excerpt from the collection of poems by Charles Baudelaire called Les Fleurs du Mal or The Flowers of Evil (click the title for more from that poem and others).  And truly, wedding flowers are evil.  They are beautiful and evil and, really, ensconced in greed, folly and possibly depravity...though probably not mortal sin.  The florists (Satan) lull you into believing that you need $500 or $800 or $2000 worth of flowers and turn your will power and feisty DIY-ittude into a mere payday.  

An interesting thing about me is that it is relatively very easy to separate me from my money.  Annnnd I'm kinda lazy. I knew that if I met with a florist, she'd give me exactly what I wanted (see previous post) at a price.  It happened with the caterer and I knew it would happen again.  This is why I was reluctant to book florist consultations...I was trying to avoid florists!  

My original plan was to DIY those flowers into submission.  I did a bunch of research and found via the phone that I could have a florist do my flowers for (at lowest) $600 or I could do it myself for about $100. However...my mom convinced me that it would be way too much effort and stress to do it myself and that I should just check with some florists (she probably wanted to prove to me that it wouldn't be as much as $600). Well I showed her...

Wax Flowers

The price to do just the personal flowers (1 bride bouquet, 9 BrMs' bouqets, 13 bouttoniers, 5 corsages) would be ~$785.00.  Which is about what I was expecting.  I knew she was putting some mini calla lilies (which are like $5-$10 per stem) into my bouquet, and I also knew that, contrary to popular belief, wax flowers are not cheap (but are very cute!). Here is a rough estimate of the itemized list:

- My bouquet: $150

- Bridesmaids' bouquets: $30-40 ea.

- Groom's bouttoniere: $7-$15

- Bouttonieres: $6.50 each

- Wrist corsages: $18

- Pin corsages: $15

Spider Mum (from the Chrysanthemum Family)

I also did like the florist a lot, she hates baby's breath (like me) and she is energetic and talkative and very personable.  I feel comfortable trusting her.  Another cool thing that she said she'd do, is accent our statuary/planter/nest centerpieces with flowers and purple fruit (eggplants, plums).  This is extra-cool b/c she even said that she would take all our decor, make the fresh flower accompaniments and set it up for us. HOLY CHRIST, REALLY?  That in itself might be worth the added expense of having her make the centerpieces.  She EVEN said that she would not include extra delivery or set up charges for that (she's gonna be toting around at lest 2-3 boxes of statuary, so I gotta give the lady a round of applause for that assertion). 

Some centerpiece statuary we have!

So.....I was sold.  I mean, isn't it better to get someone with expertise anyway?   And, c'mon, flowers need to be done the day or so before the wedding and what bride will have time to do all that?!  Not me, baby, I plan to go to the spa with my girlies, eat lots of food and drink (moderately) until 10AM on the big day.  By July 13, I'm going to be DONE (mentally as well as physically) with wedding DIYs and "have-to-do's".  

Purple irises -  The one flower I've wanted in my bouquets since last March!

*Unfortunately*..... I'm going to now have to go to other florists and get a price comparison to prove to the Parents that really this is about the price of flowers, before I can give the original lady the go ahead.  *Sigh* it seems that everyone thinks that when you get engaged it's like you were bitten by a radioactive love bug and can now turn into the Super Marriage-Planner of DOOM!  

"Free time? Sure I have lots! Family?  Fiance?  Don't worry, they all know that I'm out using my powers for good!  Or at least for not-evil."  

I can't wait until all the stuff is booked!  Then I can clear up my calendar and actually have some time for ...*gasp*... dinner parties and me-parties and exercise! 

I want my bouquet to be something like this:
crazy and complicated (with feathers)!

DIY** Brides - Come see!

I've decided to make A LOT of stuff for the wedding, partially to save money and partially to make stuff that's exactly what I want.  Because you see...While it's possible to get the "perfect wedding" with no more effort than dialing some numbers on your phone, you will have to pay out the ass for such a luxury.  Sure, lots of companies customize stuff to your tastes, but a non-mass produced item will take more time and supplies (no fault of the craftsmen and women, I'm sure they do great work it's just..) Well, my time isn't worth that much, so being a DIY bride is a great answer. Plus, I can choose how I get my supplies and I can do so at the very lowest cost possible.

(**For those  who are not blog-a-holics like me, DIY means "Do It Yourself")

The finished headpieces. Unfortunately, the purple doesn't show up so well
on the black background.  The flower girl headband is there too.

Over the weekend Mom and I started on our Mega Wedding Crafts.  (It's "mega" because we need 9 BrMs' headpieces, 9 BrMs' necklaces, 9 BrMs' sashes, my veil, ring pillow, flower basket, head thing for the flower girl, decorations, signs, maps, invites.....and the list goes on).  However, if we can have a few weekends like this last one, we will get it all done in no time!

The first thing we worked on were the BrM's headpieces.  It probably cost around $20 for all the materials and we didn't even use up everything.  I did burn myself a couple of times with hot glue melted at the "nuclear" setting, but as they say:  "No pain, no wedding." Do people say that? Well, if they don't, they should!

The Burn. I had a worse on on the corner tip of my right index finger
that hurt a lot more but didn't photograph well.

What you'll need per headpiece:

1 Barette
Colored feathers
Small "Silk" Leaves & Roses
Any Color Felt
Hot Glue Gun




1). Cut an oval out of the felt that roughly matches your barette.  I used the shape of a Goody "ouchless" barette from the super market ( $3.99 for 2).  However, for most of the others I ended up using another kind  that was more rectangular, b/c they were cheaper and worked just as well.

2. Glue gun all over the felt (sounds dirty ,doesn't it?) and place the feathers in a circle trying to cover the whole felt.  Don't worry if you can't get it all b/c the rest of the stuff you add will ensure the felt is covered.  Do this with all colors desired, adding glue as needed (but careful!  It gets hot! Remember my pain).  Make sure to have the "curve" of the feather all pointing the same way otherwise it doesn't seem to lie flat.

My mom got the feathers from a fly-fishing store for ~$3/pkg (x3 colors for me: purple, green, gray), but you can get them at a craft store as well.

3). For leaves and flowers, you can find them at your local Craft Store (wedding section) for $4-$10/pkg  which gives you a lot. Also, look for coupons because I know places like Michael's and JoAnn fabrics have them frequently.  Use a wire cutter to cut the stems off the leaves and flowers. Sometimes they're sold in bunches with paper holding the stems together, so you have to rip them apart first.  I glued two different colors of leaves together for added depth, but 1 color is good too.  Add leaves in a triangle in the center of your feather circle.

4). At this point I kind of cheated because Mom knows how to tie flies so she took some pheasant feather strings and tied them together with the other feathers to give it an added layer of color and texture.  However, you could probably add more small feathers for the same effect.

5). Glue roses in the center of the leaves.  Make sure to use some glue to stick the flowers to each other for stability.

6). Wait for them to be pretty dry then glue onto the barrette. Once they are all the way dry, bend the leaves up a bit for a more 3D look that makes your flowers look not so "out there".

The finished green one

These can be worn off to the side or in the back, I may let the girls decide. I'm probably also going to put a little bit of colored birdcage netting on a hair comb to turn it into a '50s-style "hat", though I don't really know how that will work yet.

Budget much? How the wedding industry has brides by the proverbial balls.

$205.99

Wedding planning would be a lot more fun if I had an unlimited amount of money (or I guess, in this case, if my parents had an unlimited amount of money). Yeah, I'm not ashamed to admit it, my parents are paying for most of the wedding stuff. I mean, it's great since if it were up to Math and me, we would have to wait a couple years to save up the money. Math has been working to pay off his (now "our" hehe) 2nd mortgage and I bought a car about two weeks before he proposed. (Bad timing on his part? LOL).

 A friend's wedding on the awesome balcony of the Colorado History Museum
(now the renamed and totally rebuilt, "History Colorado Center").

People have been asking me if I am going to put our budget on my blog. Some people think that I shouldn't but others (usually other brides-to-be) have been asking.  I figure that I might as well, I mean, I know money can be a point of comparison and contention between people but I personally think that everyone should be more open about it in general. For instance, I have a friend who did her wedding for around $10,000 and I have to say that she is one of the people I admire the most for this. Her ceremony was lovely, her reception a TON of fun, food tasty, dress beautiful etc. etc. And she did it without paying too much.

Hehe...Love this pic. 

I would like to be her. Unfortunately, I'm not.  While I'm cost-cutting at every turn there are a few major differences between her wedding and mine that increased my budget to...um...$15,000.

First of all, my guest list is much bigger and I just can't cut people. There have been a lot of people in the various stages of my life that have helped shape me into the person that I am today and I would like to have them share in this special joy. And feeding those people is going to cost money, unfortunately, you can't skimp too much on the caterer.  Unless you got Qdoba, and as tasty as that is...it's not really wedding food.

The Rockin' dance floor!

Second, I made the mistake of picking bridesmaid gifts that are more expensive (think $10-20 difference per each) and more rare per unit than I'd thought. Probably because they're vintage items....But I can't change it now since I've already bought some of them. Unfortunately, that's all the info I can give since I don't want my BrMs to know what it is. And I actually think all of them read this. Well...maybe.

Third, I'm just not quite as savvy as my $10,000 friend and DEFINITELY not as creative/crafty/DIY-y. I really should've just hired her as a wedding planner because she has given me so many great ideas that take me way longer to implement than she did because it involves me learning how to actually be artsy/talented.

One of the big budget decisions I've been waffling back and forth on is getting a florist or not since that will cost more money but also that person will have more knowledge of bouquets and bouttoniers etc. Though $10,000 friend made her own everything and as I was the one who caught the bouquet, I can tell you that that thing was SOLID like a ROCK! It took me around 10 minutes to unbind it all. =)

But, I mean, there are a lot of things I have done to keep the price down from making my own Save the Dates to hiring my mom (for the price of grattitude and kisses) to make my dress. Which brings me to the title of this post...I was reading this article on Boulder weddings and found this gem of a quote from the owner of Boulder Bridal (the same bridal shop that pretty much told my mom that my idea for a dress was completely undoable in every aspect):

"(some) Brides' dress budgets have dropped so low that (I ) often don't have a dress to fit their needs. And yet, it doesn't take much to convince them to spend more on a dress. Once the bride puts into perspective a $2,000 dress when the rest of their wedding costs 10 times that amount, they're willing to give a 'little more' to look and feel good (scare quotes added by me)."

TWO-THOUSAND-DOLLARS for a dress you will wear ONCE for about 4-5 hours. (I've been thinking about buying a Coach purse for ~$300 and am having a hard time justfying that. It is at least something that I will be able to use forever [lifetime warranty] in 85-90% of situations.  I'm sorry, but I really don't think my wedding dress should cost more than a Coach purse.)

The wedding industry has a tight grip on starry-eyed brides-to-be.  This is the shit they are selling...that: 

"OMG! $2000 is a GREAT deal for a dress!"

And:

"But don't you want to look beautiful on your wedding day?"

A $2,000 dress is, 8-15% of the "average" wedding budget (and also 2/3 the price of my first car that lasted for 9 years). That's the price for being beautiful?

Of course I do, but in the words of my fiance, my parents and countless friends and coworkers, I have looked "beautiful" in $20-$80 dresses. So, maybe I could add a little room for more fabric and a specialized style. How about $300? Now that's a GREAT deal for a dress. Here are some examples of ~$300 or less dresses (and yes, they're probably from China, but I'm sure so are David's Bridal's and countless others. And if not the whole dress, then I'm sure at least some piece of it.) All of these are from Milanoo.com. 

$183.99

$175.99

Save the Date Video!!!